I can predict too!

At the last hours of 2006, in this town in USA, I have decided that I want to share my predictions for 2007 with all the 4ts,4teens, and all the in betweens that are out there.

I predict that 2007 will be a year full of a lot of action, and I know that the good guys will be the winner in the long run. This is after all 2007 and that means that we have 2 times more 007 and everything always go right with one James Bond, just imagine this year we have two!

I also predict that for the forthcoming year, people will realize the importance of inner peace and humanity and will start to make extra efforts to pursue more of the happiness and less of the money. Religion and faith will have a more dominant role in the society, and for the first time maybe the religions of the world will learn to co exist in a peaceful manner. Tolerance will be practiced through out the world and understanding will rule.

I prophesize that 2007 will promote a sense of well being in people that prompts living a healthier lifestyles, like eating healthier, exercising more and stopping all the bad health habits like smoking and drinking excessively. As a result of this, people will become kinder and more compassionate. They will value other people lives more and will give helping hands to each other more often.

I predict that the new UN secretary general, with the help of the members of united nation, despite the rocky road, will be able to find a resolution to the roots of all the troubles of the world and with small but steady steps will communicate and resolve the issues of hunger, power conflict, nuclear power and many other difficulties that ail the world every minute.

I prophesize that the environmental issues will be somewhat eased and the population of the world will all give a little to save the other living things that populate this earth. I also know that the citizens of planet earth will do everything in their power to ease the global warming, because they do not want another tsunami, earth quake or a hurricane to take thousands of lives and leave millions homeless.

I know that creative minds will take the technology further and will come up with more gadgets to make the world smaller and to keep people closer for better or worse. The scientists will continue to save more lives by finding more cures to numerous illnesses, and by experimenting and researching issues that seem impossible. Yes they will succeed.

Ultimately,I wish you a healthy, peaceful and happy 2 x 007. I just know that 2007 will be a good year, you just wait and see.

What we need is just a bit of luck!

4teen believes that I have an illness. I constantly complain that news never changes; it just happens in another part of the world and maybe the number of the dead or injured varies. Yet, I can not stay away from the radio or the paper. Maybe this is a sickness, and I put it out there for all the scientists in my adopted homeland that have a name for every different odd behaviors like mine. Maybe I can be named after something after all!

Since I am aware of this shortcoming, I have tried to seek some cure for it; therefore, I have started to look for some good news in the paper. Believe it or not, it is a very challenging task. I have recently discovered a pet corner section in a local free paper. I never had a pet in my life and I thought that this can be a good start to read more about something different. I just did not know what I was bargaining for!

This section has a variety of different articles concerning all kinds of pets and nutrition and promotional ads. It does not necessarily have good news at all times, for instance last week a new baby’s 4toes were chewed, and the parents are not sure whether their pit bull dog is to be blamed or the ferret, but apparently the cops got it right, because they have arrested the parents. But there are times that I wish that I was a pet and not a human being!
A few high lights:

• Veterinary clinics painted in soothing tones of sage, ochre and salmon with soft lights reduces anxiety for the sick animals coming to seek treatment. Reception rooms with scented candles.

• Aromatherapy for your cat when she is sick let her inhale different scents so that she can choose which scent soothes her best.

• Therapeutic massage for horses.

• Acupuncture for the dog whose left part of the body was parallelized by stroke.

• And my favorite, braces for dogs.

This is amusing news, because it confirms my theory that everyone needs a bit of luck in life. In all honesty, these pets have much more luck than any human beings. When I was down and stressed two summers ago, no one gave a horse shoe if I needed to be distressed with scented candles or aromatherapy. I was just grateful if no one added more to my misery!

And in all amusement, I can not end this piece without sharing another piece from another paper:

NEW YORK — By studying blindfolded college students who crawled through grass to sniff out a chocolate-scented trail, scientists say they've found evidence of a human smelling ability that experts thought was impossible.
The study indicates the human brain compares information it gets from each nostril to get clues about where a smell is coming from. And it suggests dogs, mice and other mammals do the same thing, contrary to what most scientists have thought.
http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/

Just tell me that you do not find the irony of the two stories amusing. I just hope that you would use the link to see the picture posted for this piece.

Happy Holidays!

I was reprimanded last week by 4teen! Two fronts of 4teen attacked me claiming that this is the holiday season after all, and life is always full of unpleasant surprises and why should I be a party pooper especially around this time of the year. Well, I do apologize if I made anyone think about the less unfortunate. I always thought that this blog is about me, apparently I am mistaken again! So this week, on a cheerful note, maybe with some creativity, it can be the most wonderful time of the year.

Last weekend, I tried to get in the holiday mood and spread some holiday cheer. What better way than to experience the thrill of shopping for the holidays in the crowded shopping malls, trying to grab on sale items out of people’s hands and push and shove the shoppers in front of me in lines. The gift of giving!

My excursion started very early in the morning in a crowded highway heading for a popular mall. After going a couple of miles in a circle to find parking space, I did find one about 20 minutes walk away from the entrance. We started looking around by maneuvering the busy halls and trying to find the right sizes and the colors of any thing that we really did not need, but desired very much. By noon time, we were exhausted of hustling in the crowd unsuccessfully finding the right gift for the right person. So we decided to grab a bite and rest our exhausted feet. With great effort, the 4teens found a place to sit and as they rested, they sent me, 4t, to stand in more lines to get them something to eat. I was having a blast of a good time, with a very high holiday spirit.

To make a very long and tiring story short, thanks God, the long day ended and there were many lessons learned as I was tuning into the holiday spirit.

1. For one thing, I did get enough exercise for my daily dose of the day.

2. We saw so many friends and relatives that there is no need to send card or mass letters explain how everyone is doing, because they saw all the family and they had the chance to talk to them and find out how we are all doing. It was even better, because they saw us in person and not in pictures.


3. I did not have to cook that day, which is a blessing within itself.

4. And the best thing yet, I was so exhausted that I dropped dead that night and the next thing I know it was 9 am next morning when I woke up from a deep dreamless sleep. Something that some people have to take sleeping pills for!

Will I do it again? No fat chance, I am still sticking to my giving cash gift policy. I want them to take the trip to the mall and stand in long lines to buy the object of their desire. I do not want to deprive them from this experience of holiday shopping. After all it is about them and not me!

Happy holidays to you all!

Subject of the week - Shakespeare 101

On a more serious note, in the past couple of weeks all I can think of is “Now is the winter of our discontent”, the opening line from of William Shakespeare's Richard III.

Despite all the beauty of the lights and decorations in the streets and the holiday songs with lyrics like “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”, I can not stop observing the people around me and feel their unhappiness. I look around my circle of family and friends and I see that some how everyone has developed one serious problem or another. Smiles have turned to frowns and sigh are heard non stop. I do not chit chat with my friends anymore, and as they claim they are busier, I know that they are all struggling with either a health problem or a family one, because that they are not quite their own selves. It was not like this last year or the ones before, or so I believe.

It is not only the family and friends, it is the neighbors, colleagues and the circle grows bigger and I can not help but wondering why they are singing it’s the most wonderful time of the year, while it is not. How can it be, if for the past few months I have attended more funerals that in the past two decades of my life? How can it be, while all I recently hear is friends having illnesses, surgeries and serious problems? My colleague who is one of the happiest people I have ever met, hardly ever smiles anymore, because he is battling with his own kind of demons. And I can not do anything for any one of them; I can not prevent deaths, illnesses and other serous family issues. The only thing that I can do is to listen, visit, and to keep in touch and try to brighten their day with a phone call, a joke or a card. Basically to let them know that I care and that I am here.

Today was indeed a gorgeous day in December. A warm and delightful day in the middle of winter. I decided to take a long walk and enjoy the warmth and the beauty of this gorgeous day. I figured that today, I know that it is lovely and fun, so I will enjoy the warmth and whatever this day has to offer me to the fullest, because I do not know the forecast for tomorrow. The way I see it, today, at least for me, was the most wonderful time of the year, despite the winter of our discontent.

Fortune Cookies and More

This week, I am saluting the ingenious idea of an Asian community in one of the states of this country. To me, this is why they call America the land of opportunity and possibilities. If you have the drive, the will and know how to work hard, then anything is possible. Well, kind of!

An Asian in the state of XOX saw a need for a center that catered to the need of this minority group. After numerous meetings and debates with the state and city and district authorities, a bill was created pending approval based on the results of the election on November 7, 2006. If the bill would pass, then the state would provide the funding to build the center and provide a certain annual budget for a fixed period of time.

To get enough votes for their bill, the Asian community needed to raise awareness of this bill, and the dire need for “yes” votes. But a minority group that did not have an extravagant campaign or a savvy lobbyist and enough monetary means to promote the idea was at its rope end, when a light bulb went on and an ingenious idea was formed!! The owner of the idea went to a printer and for $240.00 printed a batch of messages that are inserted into the fortune cookies in the Asian restaurants. On one side of the paper, the regular fortune was printed, and on the other side, instead of the customary lottery number, it said to vote for XOX (the bill). The message was inserted into the fortune cookies and was distributed throughout the state in every Asian restaurant that carried and distributed them. People did notice, because it did start a commotion and a debate about the legality of the nature of promotion. But in the meantime, the bill passed and the creation of the center is in full swing, thanks to the fortune cookies!

The way I see it, new ideas and creativity is the foundation of this new world that is about two centuries old. I can’t but wonder if this Asian person could have done the same in his own country. But then again, if he could, would he have been here?
On the other hand, if he were not living here, would there be a need for this center and all the brainstorming for a creative idea to fund it? The need is the mother of every invention. Either way, Kudos to the brilliant mind who saw vast potential in fortune cookies.

Because I say so!

Last Thursday, we celebrated Thanksgiving with lots of eating, drinking, and of course shopping across America. We slaved, liked the pilgrims, over the preparation of the food, not growing it, and when the feast was ready, we were grateful for all the blessings in our lives, especially for having the honor of seeing some of our annoying relatives only once a year. Some were grateful for not having to cook, and I was among those that were grateful that did not have to travel. In short it was a perfect long weekend that was too short.

And,

As I was marinating the big bird and preparing all the traditional foods, I walked down the memory lane of all the Thanksgivings with the 4teens.

When 4teen was a preschooler and a kindergartener, I learned the story of Thanks giving with him while he was sometime a pilgrim and other times an Indian.

When she was in tweens, she wanted to know whether the thanksgiving holiday was before or after the time that the Americans killed the Indians.

And now at the peak of 4teen, they both have a moral question. Why should they help anyone in life? The Indians helped the pilgrims and saved their lives by teaching them harvesting in the new land and how to survive in their new adopted home. What did the pilgrims do in return, they captured their land, killed them all and what ever was left of them was confined to the reservations. Moral of the story, see what happened to Indians, this is what helping others get you.

I have pondered over this statement many days and nights. I can not tell them that you have to help others, because I say so. This phrase has stopped working a very long time ago. Part of me knows that their statement is very true. How many times have I been betrayed by those whom I have helped? Many times. How many times have people taken credit for what I have couched and taught them? Many many more times. Yet, I still can not stop myself lending a hand to someone in need. Why?

Because my gut feeling tells me that this is the right thing to do, and I trust my instinct more than any thing else. Because I believe in what Hillel says, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?" Ethics of the Fathers, 1:14
This is who I am, and I can not work against my true self. For every time that I have been betrayed by one, I have been helped by another in a different situation. For every time that I taught something, I have learned another valuable lesson. And mostly, because this is who I am.

And the way I see it, helping people is not about them, it is about me. Every time I turn my back on someone in need, I am turning back on my self, and I lose part of what makes me whole, and I do not want to do that. I need to believe that there is still goodness in the world, and by doing good, I am pulling my weight in society. And I do know that there are many people out there like me.

So the 4teens have to take my word for it, because every time he/she will ask me why they should help anyone, my answer will be, because I say so!!

Look who is judging now!

And the story goes,
Someone asked a very rich person about the origin of his vast fortune. The old man said that when he was very young and a new groom, he was down to his last nickel and he did not know what else to do. Some one was selling apples for a nickel and he buys it and as he was walking and polishing his apple to eat, a guy buys his apple for a dime. With the dime, he bought two apples, polishes them and sells them for 20 cents. This goes on for a week as he doubles his money with each transaction. “On the eight day” he said, “the uncle of my wife died and we inherited his whole estate.” And that is how he got rich! Not a bad way huh! But what about people who are not married to spouses with rich relative, or they don’t have one themselves?

And God created Lawsuits!! People believe that they can sue people over simple stuff and get a fortune out of it. When 4teen was younger, he wanted to sue me, 4t, for not providing cable TV for home and his pleasure. This is the accepted culture, and whoever comes to this country, may not learn to speak the language, but learns two things immediately, one that you can sue people for anything, and the other to plead insanity when in trouble.

As simple as it sounds, lawsuits, despite what lawyers may say, are not easy to process and definitely not easy to win. For every smart lawyer out there that encourages people to sue, there is an opponent who is smarter and slyer to defend the opposite party. After all, this is a country that the legal system is supposed to work in favor of the justice and the rightful party. Here are a few examples of outrageous lawsuits:

A woman filed a lawsuit ($1 mill.) against the local hospital for not doing enough to prevent her heart-attack. She got the heart attack because she was obese and smoked cigarettes, and even had a family history of heart problems.

A man was attacked by a bird outside a store, causing him some head injuries. He sued the store for 100k but the case was thrown out.

A woman falls in a store and not only she sues, but her husband sues, because the wife could not perform her conjugal duties during the healing period.

And the very most recent lawsuit: A long line of people, including the village of Glod in Romania, against Mr. Sacha Baron Cohen, the British actor, over the movie Borat.
Every claim has a different text, but they all think that they were humiliated and ridiculously underpaid and they all want more money, despite all the embarrassments that they have endured. I can’t but wonder if they would have sued, if the movie was not such a big success. Probably not.

And who is the real winner in all lawsuits, of course lawyers. And for the record, if I would live my life a new, I would become a lawyer!


Is it just to file suits against parties at fault? Yes by all means if it is justified and if a person is truly violated. Otherwise, we have to take into account that the balance is always maintained. If someone gets awarded in an unjustified lawsuit, some one else is paying the amount and that is where the fairness of the matter is questionable.

The way I see it, there may be many shortcuts to getting rich, but it is always at the expense of someone else. In the case of my opening story, the death of the uncle.

Here we go again: Science or Art?

Poor Science!! It has taken us from Stone Age to this glorious day, and yet we are still questioning it.

A long time ago, on one of my job interviews some one asked me if I thought that accounting is science or art. I answered very honestly that accounting is science and that is why they give you bachelors of Science and not Art. I never quite got the meaning of that question until last weekend when 4teen had friends over and the discussion was job hunting. For the records, I did not get that job!

A very frustrated 4teen had applied for a job at a greeting card store for the position of a simple sales associate. After the initial interview she had to take a test and based on the result of the test, she did not get the job that paid minimum wage. The test had nothing to do with any performance skills, they were basic personal and moral questions and she answered all the questions very honestly, however, they told her that they do not think that she is a good fit for their organization, because the answers did not look very genuine to them. She could not get what it meant to be a good fit, while she simply needed a part time job to earn some extra bucks for her daily expenses.

And the conversation heated and it became a group therapy for all these frustrated kids who are entering the workforce and are getting disappointed, because for so many years it is drilled into their heads to be themselves and not to lie about their identities and feelings. They are told that having a solid character is the foundation for anything one wants to be. All of a sudden, they are doing what they have always been doing and they find that being their true selves in the society does not necessarily mean that people will like or accept them. A big shock and disappointment. 4teens, welcome to the world of adults.

The truth of the matter is that everyone believes that an honest person who speaks frankly is like a bit of fresh air. Yet, that bit of fresh air does not land you necessarily the things that you want in life and in this case a job!! Sometimes, getting what you want in life has nothing to do with honesty and niceness, or even what you really think.

Here are a few examples of questions that you can not answer honestly in a job interview.

“Why do you want to work for XYZ Company?”

Politically correct answer:
Because XYZ is the leading producers of…and helps the environment and….., I believe in the mission of this company…...

Honest answer:

I need a job that is close to my house and you have an opening. End of the story.

Why are you leaving your present job?

Honest answer:
Why anyone does changes his job, because it is a dream job? We quit our jobs, because we are disappointed in our bosses, the company, and the pay and….

Politically Correct Answer:
I am still working on it.

And at this point the realization kicked in. Finding any job, in a science or art related position, really is an art. One needs the art of communication to relay the message in a way and tone to capture the audience that is being addressed. Marketing yourself and your skills is the ultimate art. Interpreting rules and regulation and turning them legally to your advantage are the greatest art. And the list goes on.

I still preach what Dr. Seuss preached: "Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind."

But the bottom line is that if living by this rule is not easy. If you choose to live by this motto, then there are consequences. If you can not take the heat, then get out of the game. There are no manuals in life for living; one just picks the way that suits him best.

We are back again to making choices in life!!

Sages & Sage

On one of our daytrips to a cozy town nearby, 4teen and 4t entered a store that sold spiritual effects. There was a demonstration going on that looked very intriguing and since it was the weekend of Halloween, I assumed that the show was to entertain the crowd and instill an atmosphere of this holiday, and to sell a few things as well.

The lady store owner was standing in front of the long line of people, with a stack of burning dried leaves bundled together in a rag, leading the line around the store, saying prayers and in attempt of shoving the smoke out of the open door. When the ceremony ended, she explained that the leaves are called sage and it is used to expel negativity and evil eye out of the house. In short she explained that this dried herb cleanses your house, like Mr. Clean, Lysol and bleach does, but you can only sense the purity and unable to see it!

She answered a few questions, but for more detailed questions like: how do we know if my house needs to cleaned, since we do not see the dirt, or what is the prayer that needs to be recited along with burning the sage, we needed to attend a session that was ongoing every Tuesday night for a nominal fee of $50.00 per person. No beverages served.

Well, it sounds right, one wants knowledge, one pays for school! But if she thought that I will pay that much money to learn about this stuff, she did not know me very well! I pay for internet service and this is after all 21st century! And I learned that sages like Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, Rav Ashlog, Rav Lunia, among many other leaders of the Kabbalah, also believed in the power of sage, the herb. They suggested burning this herb in the house when people have bad dreams and believed that the scent and smoke of this herb cancels the negativity effect that is caused in people. It is common practice even now and it is also used to offset the effect of evil eye in a house.

These sages lived centuries ago when people were much less educated, and the world was less civilized than today. The medicine and hygiene was not this advanced and people addressed different issues based on what was available to them. I have tried to scientify what they taught by rationalizing the fact that maybe they burned the herb to nullify the bad smells in the house since people lived in numbers in small spaces or showered less and environment was dirty, and most everything had a bad stench. What I can not understand, is that hundreds of years later, when we are more civilized and more advanced, we are still doing this and we still believe in evil eye and negativity.

The way I see it, people are people and it does not matter which century they live in. Civilized or not, certain things almost never change, and apparently this spiritual need is one of them.

To be on the safe side, next time you cook, marinate your chicken and roast in sage and it will have double effect!! The food will taste great and maybe, as the chicken is roasting, the scent of the sage will purify the house too. One simply does not know.


In conclusion 4teen uses pot and weed to feel good, and 4t may burn sage around the house to feel good as well!!

4t versus 2 Toms

4t and 4teen both want to be cool at all times. 4teen will do it at any cost, but 4t will think twice.

My hubby chubby and I were a perfect complement to each other until Tom-Tom entered our lives. The initial discovery came when the first Tom’s charge appeared on the credit card bill and I almost had a heart attack! The second Tom happened, when my husband declared independence from me while traveling to places that he needed a map without me and taking the other Tom instead.

Despite our 40tplus plus differences in our lives, my husband and I, were a good team while traveling. I hate driving and he is clueless in directions and maps. Therefore, with my know how navigational talent and his aggressive driving, we have gone far together. We have been places and the plan was to continue, until I was replaced by not only one Tom, but by two Toms! An intro to Tom-Tom may be appropriate. This is a GPS system that is not built in the car and that is sold separately. You manually enter your destination and the address where you are starting from and the device talks and shows you how to get there in great details, including distances, yards, meters and you name it.

So hubby chubby started going places with his new friend Tom Tom instead of me and was elated. Then he started comparing me to his Tom-Tom and joke about it to his friends, “Tom-Tom talks as much as 40t, but I can turn it off anytime I want without retributions.” Or, “Tom-Tom navigates me, but does not tell me how to drive unlike those who do not drive…” and the jokes went on.

I shared a few negative stories about this system with him in hopes that he will conclude that this is only technology with restrictions. I was once driving with my family and Tom-Tom told us to make a right turn on a street that was one way and we ended up against the traffic flow. We were so lucky not to have head to head collision and die. Did he believe me? Of course not.

And miracles (like sweet revenge) happen to those who wait! One Friday night we had guests and he took his friend to pick up something in VA promising to be home by 7:30pm before their arrival. Come 8 pm and he is not yet home while almost everyone is there. Comes 8:30 and still no word from him. His cell phone was unanswered. Eventually he called and sheepishly admitted that he is lost, and that his friend Tom-Tom can not connect to the satellite to get directions to get him home. To make a long story short, the friends & I went and retraced his footsteps and brought him home close to 10:30 pm safe and sound. Now the joke is on him!! It honestly takes more than 2 Toms and a few friends to replace me, or Tom-Toms desert you in a heart beat, but 4t will stay with you till death takes you apart, despite your inadequacies!!

The way I see it, technology is great, but has it’s limitation after all. Also, Common sense in life is the true essence. We still take his friend Tom x 2 with us everywhere, but we do not follow it blindly. We do our homework first and then we let the two Tom’s to lead us, and it seems to work for the 3 or 4 of us!!

40t+ and healthy living.

4teen believes that he is invincible, therefore fearless in living, just as 4t is beginning to realize how she values life and wants to live longer.

As I turned 4t, I realized that I need to take ++ care of myself to live a longer and healthier life. So I started having annual checkups and blood works religiously and subscribed to tons of magazines in regards to healthier and longer living. Last week, I was reading (as always) when I stumbled on an article that was promoting websites that believe that”Mental Gymnastic Can Boost Brain Power”. And that did it for me!!

First, I have to exercise at least an hour, of cardio and some weight lifting to help maintain weight, build muscle, reduce the chance of numerous diseases and also to beat depression and stress on a daily basis. Whether I enjoy exercising or not, is a whole different issue, the thing is that exercise is supposed to keep me healthy.

Then, I have to do meditation, at least 20 minutes a day, to stay focused and release my inner stress and to feel big about myself in various funny positions that make me laugh more than meditating.

Then, I have to watch whatever I eat. That means extra specialty shopping and cooking, if not planting organic vegetables myself. I have to have low fat protein and dairy, tons of organic vegetable of a certain color, multigrain and whole grain carbs that tastes like cardboard to keep my system healthy and to maintain an adequate weight to decrease again certain types of illnesses, primarily diabetes and heart ones. Basically, whatever tastes delicious, I spit it out, because it is bad for me!!

Recently, I have started doing word puzzles and sudoku, because our minds need to exercise since brain like a muscle needs activity not to lose mass. That takes me about another half hour a day to do, before giving up with elevated blood pressure, because I stink at it.

Of course I have to have a full time job to pay for our basic life style, and perform my maternal and conjugational duties as well. This is on top of running a very hectic household, studying and much more.

And after adjusting to all these, now I have to go for about half to one hour a day on a virtual mental gymnastic to help me remember things easier, and not to forget. These websites are supposed to help me be less clumsy, more articulate and sharp.

So when will I have time to LIVE and enjoy life? I am doing everything I can to live a longer life, but if I have no time to enjoy life to my standards, then why should I keep myself healthy? What is the point?

The way I see it, the focus should be primarily on LIVING and then healthier life.

The course of the week: History

4t and 4teen both need history lesson to make sense of this life and world.

Since the arrival of the 4teens in my life, I have started thinking about immortality, my immortality! As I was thinking, I sadly discovered that my parents were not immortal to me in a theoretical sense either. It started to bother me that I did not know the details of the lives of my parents as individuals and how they were as kids or teenage years. My mother never spoke of her childhood, and my dad never had the time until many years later that he retired.

It is sad that we teach our kids the history of the world, but we never teach them the history of their own parents, or at least I did not. We tell them that the history repeats itself, so learn from it, yet we fail to tell them that personal histories do the same as well. The last course of my family history was completed last week when I spent the whole week with my mother, sisters and nieces. A household full of smart, determined and opinioned women and that is when it struck me where did we all get this gene from!!

A few years ago, when my dad spent two weeks with us, we shared stories of his childhood and his background. He told stories of himself and his life that illuminated a new angle of him unknown to me until then. He has written his family story on a broad perspective, but the pieces that he shared with us put a real human touch to it and after that we never stopped talking about his life as a 4teen, 4t and the following years.

Last week, we all explored the details of my mother’s childhood and as we were discussing that, I realized how much more I have learned about myself. It seems to me that in the past 4teen years, I have been weaving this rug from a design in my head with any color wool thread that I could find and finally last week, it started to take shape and pattern. Some patterns are crooked and sometimes the colors do not match, but it is part of the rug and it blends together and in fact it fits there. It may not be the most beautiful rug in the world, but it is real and it is mine and I am proud of it. I will make sure that I will complete this rug with my history and as I leave this to my 4teens, I will ask them to continue with adding their history into this rug for the next generation.

The way I see it, this is how I will live forever.

Math Or Science?

4t and 4teen both need adequate education to get through life.

When I was 4teen and in high school, math made more sense to me than science. It was logical and made a lot of sense and I could relate to it with my whole heart. I was the master of equations, correlations, graphs and algebra.
Now that I am at 4tplus, I need science to explain a few of the correlations that have direct or inverse relationship.

I need help to figure out why is it that:

The higher we think of ourselves, the less people think of us.

The more we lie, the less we believe other people.

The more we hang unto something, the less is the chance to keep it.

The more we see our self in the mirror, the less we see out of the window.

The more we learn, the less we know.

The more we talk, the less we act.

And my million dollar observation that has direct correlation with 4teen,

The more I nag, the less they listen.

Anyone wants to take a shot at it?

Wanted: Gotta be strong, fast and fresh from fight

4t and 4teen both love the movies X-Men, Batman, Spiderman, Fantastic Four and watch them together no matter what.

Yesterday, when I went to get my first cup of coffee at work, my colleague hugged me and told me that I was her hero! She told the rest of the “girls” that on the day before, Mr. Boredom (who has earned his nickname with honors) was chitchatting with her for the longest time and she did not know how to get rid of him. Then I approached them and asked her a work related question, and asked her to do something, and she was freed from him. Everybody cheered and hailed to the hero. Me!!

Well, I was happy, amused, flattered and in a way very confused. To me, a hero is a person who does some extraordinary task and possesses a whole lot of courage: The soldiers who fight for their countries to keep it safe are heroes, people who battle terminal disease or impossible situations are heroes, and fire fighters are heroes. To me a hero is a person who tries to change the world for better and tries to make a difference by any means possible to him, either monetary, time or personal sacrifice. A hero never brags, tells or gloats to friends and in the news. I am not among any of the above category, I was just annoyed that this girl talks her way through the day and that I am stuck to do her job so that I can get mine done. All I wanted was for her to come back to do her job so that I finish mine.

Then a friend pointed out to me that heroism is different in every individual’s perspective. To chase and catch a naughty cat for an old lady, may seem some fun act to me, but will be an act of heroism to that woman. When 4teen was younger, he considered me a hero, and 4t was just doing what she was supposed to do, being a parent. And as life changes, situations alter, therefore, the perspective adjusts and heroism takes a different sense at every phase.

And this gets me thinking (4teen believes that this is the root of my problems, too much thinking!) Batman and Spiderman were normal people, like all of us, who used their extraordinary powers, when they changed into their costumes, in the time of distress and need. So is it possible that all of us normal people are heroes in our own way and can perform acts of heroism? Granted we can’t fly, or we do not have super gadgets, but we do have courage and some capability to make a difference and be special to someone, can’t we?

The way I see it now, the actions make a hero not the person. To a hungry person, someone who feeds him is a hero. To a sick person, the doctor is a hero. To a desperate person, and encouraging stranger who can give sound advice can be a hero. A mentor is a hero and there is no end to the chain. And to this colleague, I was the hero.

I still have difficulty absorbing the fact that I was called a hero, because it is truly over-rated, but I do know that I after this, I can not stop being one, and I have to build on to perfection one step at a time. Now that I know that every action of mine, even out of annoyance, has a reaction, I know that I have the power to be a hero, and I promise to be one. My vanity wants me to choose a costume, but when I look at myself in the mirror, my better judgment tells me otherwise!

The title is taken from the lyrics of the song "I need a hero".

Peer pressure or not? What is the question?

4t denies, but peer pressure is a dominant motivating factor for both 4teen and 4t and many more years after that.

It was a rainy Tuesday around lunchtime and many people were waiting to be served in the area bank. There was only one slow teller working with slower systems and you can do the math in estimating the length of the line. Everyone was tired and grumbling and before I started to pull my hair out, the conversation from two ladies behind me perked me up and distracted me from the inefficiency of the bank and stopped me short to go to the bank manager to give her a piece of my mind. I am not a nosy person by nature (despite what many of you guys think), but I can be one if circumstances allow and I choose to, and this was an optimal situation for both.

The two women were in their early thirties and looked professionals. One of them was invited to a wedding of a friend the following weekend and did not want to take the current boyfriend with her as a date. The friend was coming up with different excuses that she could give the boyfriend for not taking him to the wedding without offending him: sickness, wedding cancellation, friends only gathering, were just a few of the ingenious options that the friend could come up with. The teller in the bank got stuck with a very difficult customer and the wait continued…

And that is how the story unfolded further. This girl meets this man in a company party about six months ago. The man (according to her description) is funny, intelligent, considerate, gentle, charming and has a very good position with a very renowned company in US. He has a nice house, a car and is well rounded. He treats her like a lady and takes her on cruises and trips. He cooks for her gourmet dinners, and he has even introduced her to his parents. He is discussing future plans and places to shop for a ring. Yet, the other truth is that he is very very heavy, or in another words obese. And the thing is that despite all the advantages to this guy, who seems to be quite a catch, there is only one disadvantage; she was ashamed to take this man as her date to this wedding, because she did not want her friends to think that she is a “loser”, as she quoted, for dating an obese guy. I have to confess that I always thought to hear this from a man and never a woman. Boy, how wrong was I!

After getting to this part, I was stuck with two options, either to yell at the bank manger, or yell on this thirty year old single girl, who was shallow, selfish and self centered. I wanted to ask her if she has checked herself in the mirror lately, because God knows she was not Cindy Crawford herself! What was she thinking? Since when did we stop sacrificing our happiness and our lives for what people say or thought? We teach, preach and promote avoidance of peer pressure to 4teen, but at the verge of becoming 4t, we have still not learned these ourselves, and we are still looking for what? People will always have something to say about us, and most of the time unkind words, and if we start to dance to that tune, we will never learn our own tune. And that is how we get depressed and lost.

The way I see it, obese people can go on diet, have surgery and do something about it. Weight problem is fixable. A flaw in the character and brain is something to be worried about, because like some terminal illness, even the best doctors can not cure it. It seems to me that this girl/woman should really be concerned for herself.

4teens were amazed that I did not give them some advice. What they do not know, because I did not tell them, is that I wanted to, but then it was my turn to get to the teller, and it was a choice between either the girls or another half hour wait in line, and I chose the latter. Not that I did not know what to say to them, on the contrary, I was afraid that I could not stop! I was truly appalled by this woman’s behavior, using this man shamelessly without feeling remorse or guilt. I was even more appalled by the friend, who agreed with her. Did I mention that they were in their thirties?

God knows

4t and 4teen both lie about their ages, one to give the impression of older and the other of younger.

I think I know what I am getting J. man for his 2nd birthday. I may get him one of the interesting toys that are on the market for the holiday season in December; it is a doll(appropriate for boys too!)and the makers are hoping that it will replace some stuffed teddy bears.

They are called Holy Talking Huggables, and Jesus, Mary, Moses and Queen Esther, each with their own recorded messages are a few of them. The doll was designed by a couple in Boston, MA who wanted to fill the need of love and morals for their own child all at once. They believed that this doll blended fun and faith simultaneously and was million times better than a toy gun. It is an interesting concept that a toy can in fact be packaged with messages from the old and New Testament.

And this toy made me wonder if it is only me, but recently I have noticed more people with head covering, yarmulke, long and loose fitting clothing and a lot of Cross necklaces all across town. Actors talk about Kabala and the 4ts and 4teens that hate to dress alike, both wear the red string around their wrist. The reality is that the trend of getting back to the religion has been going on for a long while now, but is it intensifying or is it my imagination? On Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, the houses of God are packed with worshippers, and I know for a fact, because I live close to a couple of them. I live in a very metropolitan area, and believe me that I do see a big variety of temples for any kind of religion with a name.

And I can’t help but wondering why is it that people are rediscovering faith? So why is the world changing?

My younger sister believes that for a long while, money had become God to so many people, and now it is taking its toll on them. People need reprieve from being a slave to the material things; therefore, their soul is seeking God for some moral and spiritual guidance.

My hubby chubby thinks that the big baby boomer generation, that is supposed to bankrupt the social security system, is getting old, and the older we get; we find our way back to religion, to explain our existence, repent for our wrongdoings, because we are afraid of death.

4teen trusts that since the world has really become a violent and crazy place, people need some explanation as why bad things are happening around the universe, and religion seems to be the one that can respond to those questions, or at least some of them.

And the way I see it, is that we are sticking harder to religion, our religion, because we are afraid of assimilation. Our religion has always been a source of identity for us, even if we were just born into it. Now that all the religions have started taking various stands for the same issue and in the name of same God, we are threatened by loosing this distinctiveness and amalgamation with others. And we are protesting it with the best way we know how, by becoming more zealous and practicing to preserve the heritage and the background of the faith that we were born into it.

Honestly, I don't know the real reason and I have just theories, but I am sure that God knows!

Have a little bit of faith in me

4t and 4teen both need their siblings. 4teen needs them to give them the “how-to’s” of the high school, and 4t needs them for moral support and encouragement.

We all receive some inspirational emails every week. We read through them, they lift our souls and bring smiles to our faces. We nod our head in agreement with an occasional tear drop, as we relate that reading to our lives. The minute we close the email, out of sight, out of mind, the effect disappears. Poof!

Then, there comes a time in our lives that we experience struggles, which bring a distant memory of those quotes to our minds. It is then that we identify and sympathize with those sayings and pledge to take them to heart and learn, practice and even preach them if we can find an audience. The real empathy comes, sometimes with age, when something really clicks in the heart that sets our inner drive in motion. That inner drive, or call it whatever you want, makes us take those words as a way of life and that is when we start living by those rules. The empathy stage has to come to everyone on a personal realization and timetable; for some sooner than later. Preaching and lecturing does not affect anything, but believe me, it will come in time.

And that is how exactly having faith found its permanent space in my life. Not that I did not have faith before. I did, but the switch could be on and off depending on my mood. This time my faith came with conviction and out of my inner strength. Some argue that having faith is for the weak and lazy, and for those who do not want to do anything or want to shift the responsibility to a higher authority. The way I see it, this argument does not stick for me any more.

I believe that my faith comes from a stronger character trait. I see having faith in people, life and me, as a source of inner strength rather than weakness. There is only so much I can do about any situation and more than that is beyond me, it requires wisdom to draw that line. Having faith requires a big heart to forgive, not to forget, and to restore faith. Not many people have the courage to change themselves to get to that point. And ultimately having faith requires a ton of patience and kindness and the hectic lives of 21st century can be an obstacle. Balancing the two of them requires knowing one self and sacrifices, and not everyone, is able or willing to do that.

To close this serious subject, I have faith that everything will work itself out, I just try my very best and give it my best shot. Forgiveness and compassion are two best character traits, I try to have faith in people, if not for them then for my own sake. Ultimately, I firmly believe that there is retribution in life. Life is a funfair, we all stand in different positions in life at different times, and we all have ups and downs and demons to fight, the true test is how we come out of it, and how we use this experience afterwards.

My kind of sport!

No matter what each believes, 4t and 4teen is always dependant on each other. 4teen needs homework and problem solving advice from 4t, and 4t needs 4teen to fetch her stuff from places that she is not tall or slim enough to reach.

4t tries to watches her weight carefully, as she is a member of weight watchers (and no, they do not pay me to write this)! And that she is always on the look out for a new kind of exercise that is easy, fun and burns the most calories possible.

This past week, I found a very 21st century workout. Better than DDR, and it is not only an exercise for the body, but targets other aspects of life as well. The other good thing about this workout is that there is an actual contest for it and one can actually win a medal for competing. Since I am not Olympic material, this is as close as I can get to win any medal in any kind of sport in this life time!

“Cell Phone Throwing Contest” was held for the seventh consecutive year, on the third Saturday of last August in Finland and attracted a decent crowd from all over the world. The regulations are very simple. There are no rules related to the size, color, comfort ability, reception, brand and the weight of the cell phone or the contestant. In the past contest, the silver medal went to a free stylist who juggled cell phones to the tune of different ring tones (downloaded from God knows where), because his phone landed off side when he threw it, but the judges were impressed by the music and the act of juggling and awarded him the second place. The gold medalist was able to throw her mobile phone into the distance of 89 meters.

And this is how some people may view this contest/activity in my opinion:

The environmentalists love it, because, it is a way to recycle old mobile phones (as Europeans call it) before they become toxic waste.

The intellectuals and the learned find it interesting, because it does give a real meaning to mobile phone as it is thrown into the distance.

The creative people applaud the inventive mind and envy it, because they were not the first one to come up with such an idea.

Lazy people like it, because it is light exercise with minimal practice requirement and it genuinely qualifies as athletic.

Health Department advisors love it, because they believe that whatever moves one off the coach and into any kind of movement is an added step to healthy life style.

And finally, I love it, because no more talking anywhere but home or office and from land line. No more fighting over roaming charges or overage minutes. Can you imagine how good that feels when one frees herself from that fancy expensive piece of metal that rings all the time when I can not even shut it up (because I do not know how!)

Envision how liberating it is to get rid of this tiny singing colorful device when it damages my self esteem, because if I do not have my glasses on, I can not see who is calling through caller ID, because the numbers are so small. I sometimes can not even hear what people say, because it always ring when I am in a busy streets, restaurant or public places, and on occasions I have agreed to things that I should not have, because I have heard it wrong and was ashamed to make them repeat after ten times! This innovation which is one of the biggest industries in the world leaves me no peace. I try to leave it behind, but some how it finds it’s way back into my bag or pocket.

I bet I can be the gold medalist of 2007 and 89 meters is nothing next to the distance that I will achieve. For all the interested parties, on the third Saturday of next August, you know where to find me!!

If only I could throw my other bugging issues out and win a medal for that???

Picture taken from images on Google.com

Are you listening?

4t and 4teen both have a thing for cell phones. 4teen can’t live without it and 4t can’t get rid of it.

A few days ago, the article “Gym Etiquette” caught my attention in a local newspaper. I use the gym continuously, but was never aware of any required etiquette. Therefore, I panicked that I may be doing something wrong and started reading to educate myself to act more civilized for the next time that I am in a public place.

Here are highlights of what I read:

 Clean up the machine that you were using after you are done exercising.
 Be considerate of other people and minimize your exercise time to accommodate everyone, during the busy hours.
 Do not talk loudly on your cell phone in the exercise area.
 Please trash your empty water bottle and papers after you are done.

I am confused and believe that something should be fundamentally wrong! Since then, I have started paying more attention to my surroundings and I see similar instructions posted at other places like metro stations as well. I keep wondering whom exactly are they sending these messages to?

Then again, I have an elegant single honk of a ride mate on the metro who loves to share his previous evening outings on his cell phone every morning at 7am. And guess what, he always rides on the same cart that I do! He loves to disclose every detail of his love life aloud, except for the X-rated parts where he tries to whisper, and we (all other people on the cart) can still hear. He loves details and never leaves anything out. Sometimes the conversation is so interesting that I miss my stop. He has a good taste too, I have tried a couple of restaurants and wines that he has talked about and shopped at a store that he was recommending to his friend!!

Enough diversion! I think these educational articles are targeting my hot ride mate who is so busy talking on the phone that have no time to read anything, forget about etiquette and behavioral education. The only people who read it are people like me who are already considerate, neat who are constantly striving to better themselves. The authors should start looking for other ways to communicate with people than traditional writing; otherwise they will be out of writing soon!!

Thanksgiving in August

4t and 4teen had an interesting discussion. 4t believes that the 4teen should be grateful for the privileged life that they have provided for 4teen, and 4teen believes that 4t should be thankful that 4teen is a good 4teen and is present in 4t’s life.

The truth of the matter is that 4t (me) is thankful for the presence of the 4teens in my life. After all, many of the first things that I have done in my life were with them: My first football game, tubing, ice cream sandwich breakfast, barf cleaning, broken head, silly movies, Iming .…

Because of them I have seen places that I would have never gone under normal circumstances and noticed things that were stranger to my eyes. Because of them, my house is fuller with all kinds of people, loud different music and laughter. Holidays are being celebrated in a new tradition and the word enjoyment has found various meanings. Because of them, I have befriended many whom I did not have anything in common and ended up becoming good friends.

Because of the 4teens, I have reached deep into my soul and have truly understood the pain and sorrow, as well as pride and joy that I have caused my parents and this makes me feel closer to them and identify with them. The scary part is that I never knew that one day I will be repeating the same words that my parents told me when I was a 4teen.
I think there is retribution in life after all!!

I am growing with my children as I grew with my parents when I was a child, and later with society as I was exploring my individuality. Who I am now, is also connected to them as the circle of life is being completed. I never knew that I had it in me to be selfless and put someone else ahead of myself, or could cry deeply when someone else is in pain. I did not know how committed I was to my ideas and morals, as my beliefs and convictions are being tested all the time.

And finally, I am grateful for my 4teens for whom I have become after being their mother. If they did not want so much, I would have not pursued my higher education to get a better job to earn more money so that I can help provide for the wants. Because of their wishes, I have become more creative so that whatever I can not buy with money, I can obtain by other means. Because of their requests, I have become, resourceful, understanding and capable, always pushing myself an inch further and I feel ten feet taller.

This is Colenues

I truly tried to post this picture with my original story, but somehow my IT knowledge was inadequate. Here is the picture for those who want to do their gardens or want to try the myth. Please share your experience!

The myth of Colenues

4tplus and the 4teen both like to blog! The 4teen is hiding feelings and words from the 4t, and the 4t is revealing thoughts and feelings to 4teen.

This true story started when my sister went to a birthday party of a 55 year old relative who dates a divorced woman 20 years his junior a few weeks ago. He has recently bought her a house, a Tiffany diamond ring, a BMW SUV, and of course, pays for the upkeep of everything including the woman. On top of all these fortunate events, this woman has recently received an additional $100 K from her ex husband due to a lawsuit over their nasty divorce on top of the alimony and all other stuff. My sister said that her house was drenched in a special plant and that she had secretly confided in my sister that all of this has happened to her due to the vigor of this plant and that she swears by its power. My sister did not know the name of the plant, but she described it as well as she could and urged me to go get some for my house.

My delightful sister researched the power of this plant further and informed the always skeptical me, that our second cousin from my father’s half brother aunt from the neighbor side, who declared bankruptcy a couple of years ago has built a mansion next to the bay with a docking port for his boat in a most upscale area. His 5 acre garden looks like heaven on earth and is photographed in a couple of magazines and guess what, most of the foliage is the plant in discussion.

Full of hope, faith and conviction, I went to a garden center and explained the plant to the vendor and asked for his help to locate it. Based on my sister’s description, we thought that we had identified the correct plant which came in various colors. The vendor, who by now was my buddy and knew the reason of my purchase, advised me not to mess with luck and fate, and to buy whatever color available in the store. 4t plus + + dollars later, I came home with almost a cart full of this foliage and planted them in my yard and house and started waiting optimistically.

Present….Whom am I kidding? This plant could not even get me a promotion that I was hoping for with only a couple of thousand dollars raise, forget about mansions, Tiffanies and SUV cars!
I even thought about divorce and getting some fortune out of that, but with my luck, I will be ending paying alimony, forget about getting money from my husband!!
I could find a sugar daddy after the divorce to provide for me, but I wonder if I did not want to do it the first time before I was married and younger, how can I do it the second time around while I am 4t+?
I could open a business, live lavishly and take loans and pay myself big salaries and bonuses and not pay the debts and the creditors. I could expense my house and car payments to the company and then declare bankruptcy. I could then lay low for a while and rise back build me a mansion and find a lot of rich friends and publicity. I could, can’t I?
As I see it, the only person who financially benefited from this plant ordeal is the vendor in the garden center. He went home with a decent amount of cash, my cash, and I ended up with a bunch of foliage and a false hope that kept me sanguine for a while.
However, I have to admit, that my garden looks mighty good! My family and I enjoy long conversations over tea and coffee sitting on the patio that is decorated with these plants. And when I wake up every morning, almost well rested, my eyes open up to the plant that has attracted some new species of birds to our humble garden and cheerful colors to our cozy home. It makes me appreciate the simple things in life. Of course I can always appreciate a Rolex watch too, but it seems that this one has to wait for a while! A long while.

$$$$

4t and 4teen are always awed by celebrities, however for different reasons.

Those of us who live in USA were privileged to hear about Mel Gibson’s arrest that made daily headlines and news across the country, despite the various wars, typhoons, global warming, Congo and more domestic and international news.

For those who do not know, last week, Mr. Gibson was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol; however, this was not the reason of the infamous broadcasts. He made headlines, because he made some anti-Semitic remarks to the arresting officer and that is why the media created a circus with this piece of news.

He has apologized for his comment and has blamed it on alcohol, but the truth of the matter is that he has to apologize for feeling that way, not for saying it. He can mask his anti-Semitism remarks, but he can not mask his beliefs. He can hate Jews as much as he wants, but can not blame his inadequacies, alcoholism or any other problem that he has on them. But the way I see it, this is not about Jews or Gentiles, it is about $$$$.

He has an ulterior motive. Do you remember his movie about Christ? Do you recall the controversy around that? All he had to say was that his movie was not made to blame to Jews for the death of Jesus; and the media did the publicity for him for free. He cashed big bucks on that movie without spending much on advertising.

Mr. Gibson is a shrewd businessman and he is doing it again. He is using the Jews AGAIN to promote his upcoming movies. The irony of the matter is that he dislikes Jews, but he has no problem using them to get free attention and publicity.

40t plus choices

Last night we agreed, that is me and the 4teen year old, that summer is indeed going by very fast. They dread the school days in the coming September and I another birthday in October.
Choice is a wonderful thing to have. Where I grew up, we barely had any choice of anything. Ice cream came only in vanilla flavor, forget about forty one flavors. Shoes came in the color black for winter and white for summer. We had two basic channels on TV that started broadcasting after 4:30pm with no cable and we watched whatever was on. After school activities were homework, reading and more reading in absence of homework. Arts and sports were for lazy and the idle. And that is just a basic sample of my choice less childhood. It was never a boring life, it was simply alternative less. I bet you do get my drift.
I used to think that having too many choices caused disorientation and confusion (no brain washing involved). I religiously believed that this is the reason that I never needed a therapist or a shrink and almost never hated my mother. I assumed that lack of choice made my mental path clear and undisturbed by the monster of doubt.
Now at 4tplus, the monster of doubt is haunting me and I have changed my mind as it is my privilege. And that is how I look at it:
The process of choosing what to eat for lunch out of a four page menu, may seem too funny of an example, but look at it this way: you take your time, study and ponder about the food options and then you choose. When the choice is made and the food is ordered, you have to eat it. Of course in some places you can still exchange if you do not like what you opted, but the point is that you choose and you live with the consequence. From that experience you learn to assume responsibility for your action and deal with the decree.
I bet some of you are laughing at me right now, and that is because you had always choices in your life. But I am not done yet, bear with me. From childhood one is groomed to make choices indirectly all the time. And in the process, as one grows, they make mistakes, learn about the experience, share the dos and don’ts and learn how to choose to their liking. This is how they learn to take control over their lives, something that I have blissfully failed to do most of my life.
It is easy to blame someone else when my life did not turn the way I wanted it. I chose my career based on what school was available to me, not where I want to go or what I wanted to become, therefore, my career unhappiness is blamed on a country that failed to provide enough and adequate opportunities for its population. But when I choose the career and at the end, this is not what I want to be, then I have to blame the person in my mirror and no one else. And that is my friend, the type of responsibility that I am talking about.
Through choices we find ourselves, we explore our likes and dislikes and hopefully along our way with the right guidance, we will become who we want to become. There is no better feeling than thinking that you are on top of the world and every thing is available to you in life, if you just hustled and attempted to get it. Not like me who still blames the circumstances for not becoming a lawyer. God knows that I would have made a darn good one too. I still may, do you think that at 4t plus it is still doable? If not, I know whom to blame!

Introduction

Life is amazingly hilarious. As I age, I have started to realize that there is not much difference between me at 4tplus and a 4teen year old person. I believe that this is why most parents fight with their teenagers, not because they are different. On the contrary. They fight because they are very much the same and alike. Here is how I see it:

We both have active hormones that make us do weird stuff all the time. Mine is called menopause and theirs puberty.

We both are still growing, they taller and I sideways.

We are both distracted and forgetful; theirs is age related and guess what? So is mine!

They dye their hair to be hip; I dye mine to look young.

We are both bossed around, they by their parents and me by both parents and kids!

We both think that we know more than the other and assume the worse of each other, they consider me ignorant and I think they are boorish.

They are trying to find themselves and make sense out of life, and the thing is so am I!

We both have our own special attitudes, but I consider mine right and theirs wrong. Apparently so do they!

The bottom line is that I still am learning and growing inside and out. Isn’t that how they are? I still have difficulty making sense of many things that happen to me and the world on a daily basis. I am still not sure if my career is the right one, or I have the right husband. I don’t even know how good or bad of a job have I done as a mother. Aren’t they that insecure? Has much changed between 4t and 4teen?