4t denies, but peer pressure is a dominant motivating factor for both 4teen and 4t and many more years after that.
It was a rainy Tuesday around lunchtime and many people were waiting to be served in the area bank. There was only one slow teller working with slower systems and you can do the math in estimating the length of the line. Everyone was tired and grumbling and before I started to pull my hair out, the conversation from two ladies behind me perked me up and distracted me from the inefficiency of the bank and stopped me short to go to the bank manager to give her a piece of my mind. I am not a nosy person by nature (despite what many of you guys think), but I can be one if circumstances allow and I choose to, and this was an optimal situation for both.
The two women were in their early thirties and looked professionals. One of them was invited to a wedding of a friend the following weekend and did not want to take the current boyfriend with her as a date. The friend was coming up with different excuses that she could give the boyfriend for not taking him to the wedding without offending him: sickness, wedding cancellation, friends only gathering, were just a few of the ingenious options that the friend could come up with. The teller in the bank got stuck with a very difficult customer and the wait continued…
And that is how the story unfolded further. This girl meets this man in a company party about six months ago. The man (according to her description) is funny, intelligent, considerate, gentle, charming and has a very good position with a very renowned company in US. He has a nice house, a car and is well rounded. He treats her like a lady and takes her on cruises and trips. He cooks for her gourmet dinners, and he has even introduced her to his parents. He is discussing future plans and places to shop for a ring. Yet, the other truth is that he is very very heavy, or in another words obese. And the thing is that despite all the advantages to this guy, who seems to be quite a catch, there is only one disadvantage; she was ashamed to take this man as her date to this wedding, because she did not want her friends to think that she is a “loser”, as she quoted, for dating an obese guy. I have to confess that I always thought to hear this from a man and never a woman. Boy, how wrong was I!
After getting to this part, I was stuck with two options, either to yell at the bank manger, or yell on this thirty year old single girl, who was shallow, selfish and self centered. I wanted to ask her if she has checked herself in the mirror lately, because God knows she was not Cindy Crawford herself! What was she thinking? Since when did we stop sacrificing our happiness and our lives for what people say or thought? We teach, preach and promote avoidance of peer pressure to 4teen, but at the verge of becoming 4t, we have still not learned these ourselves, and we are still looking for what? People will always have something to say about us, and most of the time unkind words, and if we start to dance to that tune, we will never learn our own tune. And that is how we get depressed and lost.
The way I see it, obese people can go on diet, have surgery and do something about it. Weight problem is fixable. A flaw in the character and brain is something to be worried about, because like some terminal illness, even the best doctors can not cure it. It seems to me that this girl/woman should really be concerned for herself.
4teens were amazed that I did not give them some advice. What they do not know, because I did not tell them, is that I wanted to, but then it was my turn to get to the teller, and it was a choice between either the girls or another half hour wait in line, and I chose the latter. Not that I did not know what to say to them, on the contrary, I was afraid that I could not stop! I was truly appalled by this woman’s behavior, using this man shamelessly without feeling remorse or guilt. I was even more appalled by the friend, who agreed with her. Did I mention that they were in their thirties?
5 comments:
Yes, but you seem to be ignoring the fact that there are men out there who are more cold hearted than this woman was. Men who love the woman, but have another one on the side to take out in public. At least this woman is honest about the problem: the man is fat, obsese, whatever you want to call it. So let her own up to it, and if shes not happy leave him. She cannot have the best of both worlds.
i could begin my response by saying that looks dont matter, which is the position many people like to claim to take, but thats not the case. I can understand where this woman is coming from. . . everyone wants to be seen with a good looking entourage, it brings you confidence too. However what i dislike about this woman and that she robs him of everything else, like the money and the trips and the cooking, but she cant take him to one lousy wedding which probably wouldnt mean anything to her, but the world to him. Sorry if this sounds bitter or cynical but i cant wait until he leaves her.
I dont know where the woman in the bank was coming from but looks dont matter, it's about who the person is inside and she seems to have found a nice catch.
i think that you made a good point. But everybody doesn't think the same and a lot of people judge you by the way you look. They don't care what your education and your backround is. By the way where can i find a man like this?
I couldn't agree with you more. There are far more important features than how heavy or skinny you are. It seems to me that this man has many things going for him and if his weight is an issue, I agree with you that it can be dealt with. I think appearance is important in how you present yourself in the public, to wear the appropriate dress code for right occasion, for example a wedding. This past weekend, the exact opposite happened to me. We had few freinds over and one of them brought his new girl friend. She was really beautiful stunning gorgeous young lady. One of those natural beauties that you just want to keep looking at her. By the end of the evening, I sensed everybody felt very uncomfortable around her. She was very uncomfortable in her own skin, did not participate in any conversation whatsoever and our conversations ranged from children, to politics to celebraties to current affairs to traveling, etc. She did not open her mouth once and I think by mid evening the fact that she was so beautiful had already faded away and all I could see what this uneasy uncomfortable person who really caused others to feel uncomfortable in her presence. What I'm trying to say is, if the person has a personality you quickly forget his appearance flaws. It's a proven fact.
Post a Comment