I know this Irish lady for a while now, but never had a chance to learn about her private life until a few days ago, and that is indeed odd for me, because if I like someone, and I definitely like her, I make my business to know their business! Or maybe because she was always a jolly person and had always something new and interesting to discuss and we never got to private matters, although she knew all about my mother in law!
The other day she told me that she was getting a divorce and I was dumb folded, because she never showed any sign of stress or distress over any marital problems, in fact she just came back from Ireland with her soon to be ex-husband after visiting family and friends on vacation. To make a long story very short, her marriage was staged only to get her into this country and to get her the citizenship. Now after a bit over six years, the mission is accomplished and she has what she wants and off everyone goes on his way. She said that the arrangement was done mutually and now that she has achieved her dream, and dream she meant, and he his money, they are part as friends without any resentments.
And it got me thinking about dreams and how much are we willing to pay for them, or better yet, how do we pay for them, and does the end justify the mean. Her dream cost her six years of her life plus some US$ and she seems elated. What is the price of a dream? Do dreams ever go on sale? Is the price paid in real money or real effort? Paying with money is the easy part, but what about those that pay in time, life and effort? I know many others who are still paying for their dreams and they are not yet accomplished, and they still do not want to give up. I know for myself, that I had many dreams, some came true and some still work in process, but at times I wonder if the dreams were worth paying that much? Or why did I not work on the unaccomplished dreams instead of the accomplished ones? Do our dreams change their importance at different phases of our lives? Do we sometimes set unattainable dreams for ourselves so that we can get going, because we love to dream?
And saddest of all is that we have things like US citizenship at our finger tips that we take for granted, and yet it is such a dream for someone else. It makes me wonder what this citizenship means to her that I have not figured out. Where is she taking this dream that I don’t know about? Are my dreams more complicated than others? And in this are my self revelations.
The way I see it, if we want something really bad enough, we will focus and go for it, like the gal from Ireland who really dreamed to be a US Citizen and she paid her dues and she became one. If the dream is for real, no price is too high and no obstacle is an issue. My dreams on hold are my fault for not going after them ferociously as if my life depended on it. I can lie to you and not to myself, because I know that whatever I wanted in life and achieved it, the price was never the issue, because I made it work. Now if it was worth it, then that is a whole new story.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Do you get it?
I had never felt so dumb or outdated until last week when I sat with 4teen to watch the MTV awards on TV. Yes, this year was my first time, because we never had cable until a few months ago. 4teens always went to the grandparents and friends to watch it, but I was not privileged enough to do so. Actually, after watching the last one, I am not quite sure if I was that underprivileged!
I do not want to talk about the rude host that I found everything about him tasteless until he started to calling our president names and I started hating him. I am an advocate of free speech, but I believe that calling each other names does not fall into that category and it was not funny at all, but that is a whole new story, or maybe the beginning of this one.
I may not know much about the new singers and the rappers, but I still enjoy good music and fancy clothes that the entertainers wear. I loved Rhianna's performance and her outfit, I loved Mariah Carey, Chris Brown and even Christina Aguillera. I am not amused by LiLo's or Brittany's life styles, but still want to see what they wore or what they said, and the same for many other performers. Yet after all this being said, I was shocked by the way that a few of them were dressed.
Who was that middle aged guy who showed up in his red striped boxers and white beaters? And then was that his wife or his girlfriend with a bedroom gown? Or the one who was dressed like a Joker in a deck of poorly designed playing card? What about the Lil something whose pants were so low that they were practically folded on the floor and you could see the bottom of the boxers along with the top. How the XXXX did he walk in those pants and moved on that stage? Worse yet, how does our teenage generation can adopt such an ugly fashion trend? Showing a bit of the elastic on the underwear is ugly, yet more tolerable than what this guy was showing which was honestly disgusting. And the words of some of the songs?? I guess I am lucky that my slang language is very poor, because I did not like some of the words that I heard.
4teen tells me this is the new art, and I do not understand how can things this ugly be art. How can cussing and foul language be classified as art? 4teen tells me that this fashion trend is a kind of statement, but fails to explain what kind of statement, what are they telling us? 4teen tells me that I am too old for this, and that is the first thing that has made sense to me since last week. I really don't get it.
I do not want to talk about the rude host that I found everything about him tasteless until he started to calling our president names and I started hating him. I am an advocate of free speech, but I believe that calling each other names does not fall into that category and it was not funny at all, but that is a whole new story, or maybe the beginning of this one.
I may not know much about the new singers and the rappers, but I still enjoy good music and fancy clothes that the entertainers wear. I loved Rhianna's performance and her outfit, I loved Mariah Carey, Chris Brown and even Christina Aguillera. I am not amused by LiLo's or Brittany's life styles, but still want to see what they wore or what they said, and the same for many other performers. Yet after all this being said, I was shocked by the way that a few of them were dressed.
Who was that middle aged guy who showed up in his red striped boxers and white beaters? And then was that his wife or his girlfriend with a bedroom gown? Or the one who was dressed like a Joker in a deck of poorly designed playing card? What about the Lil something whose pants were so low that they were practically folded on the floor and you could see the bottom of the boxers along with the top. How the XXXX did he walk in those pants and moved on that stage? Worse yet, how does our teenage generation can adopt such an ugly fashion trend? Showing a bit of the elastic on the underwear is ugly, yet more tolerable than what this guy was showing which was honestly disgusting. And the words of some of the songs?? I guess I am lucky that my slang language is very poor, because I did not like some of the words that I heard.
4teen tells me this is the new art, and I do not understand how can things this ugly be art. How can cussing and foul language be classified as art? 4teen tells me that this fashion trend is a kind of statement, but fails to explain what kind of statement, what are they telling us? 4teen tells me that I am too old for this, and that is the first thing that has made sense to me since last week. I really don't get it.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Weight Down, Wisdom Up!
We have Weight Watchers at Work which makes it really inconvenient for plump and overweight people, like me, to have any more excuses not lose weight! But hey it is not all about losing weight, sometimes it is about gaining wisdom as well.
Before summer, around the month of February, the company started recruiting for the WW sessions and there were a few informational meetings for all who were thinking about joining. One particular person, who happens to be a very close neighbor of my office and who also wears a size 6 or 8 with the height of 6"2, started over eating after the informational session. I was confused by two things; One why does she need WW to begin with and secondly, why has she started overeating all of a sudden. Me being me, asked her the second question, and she said that being at the weight that she is right now, WW will not accept her application, so she is gaining weight so that she can be eligible to join WW. Kill me! And in my head I say ok, she gains weight so that she can lose it with WW while also paying for it???What is wrong with this picture?
Honestly, I find it very insulting when real slim people go to these meetings to lose weight with all the other overweight people. We are not talking about people who have 5 or 6 pounds to lose, we are talking about people who are really slim and yet go to these meetings and talk about how their trainer does this and that, and question how to find another restaurant that has fewer calories for FF or what products should they be eating to lose more weight. Hello, look around you!
The group leader believed and preached that the image that we have of ourselves in our head is the real image no matter what the scale said. Although I believed it whole heartily, I thought that she is a business woman who wants the money, why did she care if any one is slim or not as far as her sessions are full and she has enough people to conduct her discussion panel. Then it hit me like a brick on the head and the realization came and I started laughing so hard... and kind of sad too.
These people are insecure and have self confidence issues. If my problem is solved by eating less and moving more, their problem does not have the obvious and proven remedies, even if it is clamping the stomach. I am plump and I know it and I have accepted my condition. Any pound I lose, I celebrate joyously and when I gain it back, huh, what the heck. These people can not decide the limit to their weight, because weight is not an issue to begin with. When they lose a pound, they fret why only one and when they gain it back, they throw a fit. They don't even do it for health reasons, they just do it, because they believe that people will like them more if they are slimmer? They need it, because the need friends, or attention?
The way I see it, these slim people mingle with overweight ones in WW to feel good about themselves. They feel superior in the company of the plump and obese people, they enjoy the look of jealousy and coveting on their counterparts faces. They feel important that they eat salads all the time, while others have problem not craving fatty foods. Everyone looks for a way to look down on someone else, and these people do not profile racially but by other means. I wonder if they see the look of disgust and pity on many faces too.
Well I guess at the end of the day we are all winners. I lost a few pounds and hopefully she is feeling a lot better about herself, because she has not lost more than two pounds and WW is thriving with sales and membership. What can I say, a true success story.
Before summer, around the month of February, the company started recruiting for the WW sessions and there were a few informational meetings for all who were thinking about joining. One particular person, who happens to be a very close neighbor of my office and who also wears a size 6 or 8 with the height of 6"2, started over eating after the informational session. I was confused by two things; One why does she need WW to begin with and secondly, why has she started overeating all of a sudden. Me being me, asked her the second question, and she said that being at the weight that she is right now, WW will not accept her application, so she is gaining weight so that she can be eligible to join WW. Kill me! And in my head I say ok, she gains weight so that she can lose it with WW while also paying for it???What is wrong with this picture?
Honestly, I find it very insulting when real slim people go to these meetings to lose weight with all the other overweight people. We are not talking about people who have 5 or 6 pounds to lose, we are talking about people who are really slim and yet go to these meetings and talk about how their trainer does this and that, and question how to find another restaurant that has fewer calories for FF or what products should they be eating to lose more weight. Hello, look around you!
The group leader believed and preached that the image that we have of ourselves in our head is the real image no matter what the scale said. Although I believed it whole heartily, I thought that she is a business woman who wants the money, why did she care if any one is slim or not as far as her sessions are full and she has enough people to conduct her discussion panel. Then it hit me like a brick on the head and the realization came and I started laughing so hard... and kind of sad too.
These people are insecure and have self confidence issues. If my problem is solved by eating less and moving more, their problem does not have the obvious and proven remedies, even if it is clamping the stomach. I am plump and I know it and I have accepted my condition. Any pound I lose, I celebrate joyously and when I gain it back, huh, what the heck. These people can not decide the limit to their weight, because weight is not an issue to begin with. When they lose a pound, they fret why only one and when they gain it back, they throw a fit. They don't even do it for health reasons, they just do it, because they believe that people will like them more if they are slimmer? They need it, because the need friends, or attention?
The way I see it, these slim people mingle with overweight ones in WW to feel good about themselves. They feel superior in the company of the plump and obese people, they enjoy the look of jealousy and coveting on their counterparts faces. They feel important that they eat salads all the time, while others have problem not craving fatty foods. Everyone looks for a way to look down on someone else, and these people do not profile racially but by other means. I wonder if they see the look of disgust and pity on many faces too.
Well I guess at the end of the day we are all winners. I lost a few pounds and hopefully she is feeling a lot better about herself, because she has not lost more than two pounds and WW is thriving with sales and membership. What can I say, a true success story.
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