Yesterday was indeed Memorial Day on so many levels for me. On top of everything else that went on yesterday, I observed the memorial day for the 2nd year of the death of my father.
I was a good kid and did all the proper things that I am supposed to do, I cooked and prayed and attended the services and I recited the mourners prayers, but something is still missing.
For beginners, I was sincerely sad and I don't know why they say that as time goes by it becomes easier, it does not. I simply miss him. I talked about him with 4teens and hubby chubby and remembered him fondly, but still there is something missing. I need to remember him in a way that is only mine, I need something special that no one shares with him, but me and I am desperately looking for this.
We both shared a special interest in reading and enjoying amazingly odd news. We both loved to write, however, I am not sure if he wrote to his friends as he wrote to me. My writing comes from heart, because it reveals and illuminates concepts for me. It calms me, but he was a calm person in the last two decades of his life. Very at peace with life, accepting and good humored.
I never knew him well when I was a 4teen, because he was busy working and I was busy being a 4teen. As I grew older, and as our lives changed millions of times, I saw him in ways that my siblings never saw him, I saw him as a human being and not only a dad, and maybe that is the connection that I had with him privately.
I miss his serenity, his calming voice and his advice. I miss him asking about 4teens and laughing at their adventures. No one ever showed interest in my education and career as he did. No one ever encouraged me to further my education as he did. I see traits of him in my 4teen male and it makes me feel that he is with me, and I guess that no matter what everytime I see my son, I see a piece of him that will plant a smile on my face.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Post Mother's day comments
Three mothers were talking about how much their children love them and what they will do for them. The first one said that her son loves her so much that he bought her a Mercedes S500 for mother's day. The second said that her daughter loves her so much that she has bought her an apartment with jacuzzi, swimming pool and .... close to the city so that she will be in the center of civility and activities. The third said, that her son tops them all, because he paie $400 an hour twice a week to a therapist just to talk about his mother and he has been doing it for years!
I love this story, because it confirms my observation about mother's day. Mind you that at this age, I am a child myself as well as a mother to the 4teens and I believe that mother's day is not about mothers at all, once again it is all about the kids!!
A week before and after the day, every one talks about what they did for their mothers and how heir mothers responded to their gifts and more than 80% do not like the response that their mother's give them. The kids expect gratitude and constant thank yous for gifts that mothers have no use most of the time. Myself, I do not want any gifts from my kids, first because I do not need anything and second,because mothers should be respected everyday, not just in mother's day and certainly not by a materialistic gift. But no, they (our beloved children) insist on buying us gifts as an object of demonstration of their love, no matter what we want. After all it is only mother's day and guess who this day is about???
And then the moms converse and tell each other how their mother's day have gone by and guess what, the subject of the conversation becomes their children again! How they are so wonderful and what they did..... and once again it is about kids on this end too!
The way I see it, It is a pay back time for all the moms that were kids themselves once! Happy belated mother's day.
I love this story, because it confirms my observation about mother's day. Mind you that at this age, I am a child myself as well as a mother to the 4teens and I believe that mother's day is not about mothers at all, once again it is all about the kids!!
A week before and after the day, every one talks about what they did for their mothers and how heir mothers responded to their gifts and more than 80% do not like the response that their mother's give them. The kids expect gratitude and constant thank yous for gifts that mothers have no use most of the time. Myself, I do not want any gifts from my kids, first because I do not need anything and second,because mothers should be respected everyday, not just in mother's day and certainly not by a materialistic gift. But no, they (our beloved children) insist on buying us gifts as an object of demonstration of their love, no matter what we want. After all it is only mother's day and guess who this day is about???
And then the moms converse and tell each other how their mother's day have gone by and guess what, the subject of the conversation becomes their children again! How they are so wonderful and what they did..... and once again it is about kids on this end too!
The way I see it, It is a pay back time for all the moms that were kids themselves once! Happy belated mother's day.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Life in 21st century
I am totally impressed with the fact that every positive or negative feeling has a medical term and a cure in this adopted homeland of mine. An ample example is depression: I never knew that depression has so many different names and terminology. I had no clue that there are so many different medication to control it, and I am still amazed by the fact that despite all, so many depressed people live in this country and above all, some of this medication is still not working.
Last week, the paper was recruiting people who expereience shyness for a study and cure for that syndrome, and that made me think, that are they done with treating cancer and aids that they are now targeting SHYNESS? And since when this is a syndrome? And what exactly this medication will do to shy pople to encourage them to open up to public?
This is 21st century and the kids nowadays do not play ball in the street with other kids. They paly videogames on line with people remotly while they sit alone n their house. How do we expect them to learn social skills when they never interact with other people? They are so isolated in their world that their contact is limited to school friends and teachers, most of it through email, texting and abbrevation talking. As parents we are so wrapped up in our lives and the materialistic world that if our kids can take a pill to cure one thing, then it is one less thing for us to hustle about and we go for it. We never think twice about the validity of the situation or the consequences.
I am pretty sure that no kid will be depressed, if the parents would take the time to get home in time to be with them and spend time them. No adult would be suffering anxiety if they mingled in the circle of family and friends more and took the time to reconnect with cousins, neighbors and even the shopkeepers in the neighborhood. People need each other and that contact can replace every medication for depression, shyness and anything else that is caused by the 21st phenomenon of isolation.
We need to fight, to learn to get alng with people. We need to argue in order to be able to assert ourselves and overcome our insecurities. We need to talk to hear our own thoughts and we need to share to be able to feel good.
The way I see it, academic education can be bought and don't be fooled by otherwise. Social education is acquired and no money can buy that and that can be acquired in the street among the people and with the society.
Street smarts are more successful than book smarts in the long run, but blessed is the one who has both and doubled blessed if they have wise parents to go along with all those skills.
Lucky is the one with a Phd in socoial education, because he suffers no depression, anxiety or shyness, therefore no medication. There is a proverb that states that a healthy body is a result of a healthy mind.
Last week, the paper was recruiting people who expereience shyness for a study and cure for that syndrome, and that made me think, that are they done with treating cancer and aids that they are now targeting SHYNESS? And since when this is a syndrome? And what exactly this medication will do to shy pople to encourage them to open up to public?
This is 21st century and the kids nowadays do not play ball in the street with other kids. They paly videogames on line with people remotly while they sit alone n their house. How do we expect them to learn social skills when they never interact with other people? They are so isolated in their world that their contact is limited to school friends and teachers, most of it through email, texting and abbrevation talking. As parents we are so wrapped up in our lives and the materialistic world that if our kids can take a pill to cure one thing, then it is one less thing for us to hustle about and we go for it. We never think twice about the validity of the situation or the consequences.
I am pretty sure that no kid will be depressed, if the parents would take the time to get home in time to be with them and spend time them. No adult would be suffering anxiety if they mingled in the circle of family and friends more and took the time to reconnect with cousins, neighbors and even the shopkeepers in the neighborhood. People need each other and that contact can replace every medication for depression, shyness and anything else that is caused by the 21st phenomenon of isolation.
We need to fight, to learn to get alng with people. We need to argue in order to be able to assert ourselves and overcome our insecurities. We need to talk to hear our own thoughts and we need to share to be able to feel good.
The way I see it, academic education can be bought and don't be fooled by otherwise. Social education is acquired and no money can buy that and that can be acquired in the street among the people and with the society.
Street smarts are more successful than book smarts in the long run, but blessed is the one who has both and doubled blessed if they have wise parents to go along with all those skills.
Lucky is the one with a Phd in socoial education, because he suffers no depression, anxiety or shyness, therefore no medication. There is a proverb that states that a healthy body is a result of a healthy mind.
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