Wanted: Gotta be strong, fast and fresh from fight

4t and 4teen both love the movies X-Men, Batman, Spiderman, Fantastic Four and watch them together no matter what.

Yesterday, when I went to get my first cup of coffee at work, my colleague hugged me and told me that I was her hero! She told the rest of the “girls” that on the day before, Mr. Boredom (who has earned his nickname with honors) was chitchatting with her for the longest time and she did not know how to get rid of him. Then I approached them and asked her a work related question, and asked her to do something, and she was freed from him. Everybody cheered and hailed to the hero. Me!!

Well, I was happy, amused, flattered and in a way very confused. To me, a hero is a person who does some extraordinary task and possesses a whole lot of courage: The soldiers who fight for their countries to keep it safe are heroes, people who battle terminal disease or impossible situations are heroes, and fire fighters are heroes. To me a hero is a person who tries to change the world for better and tries to make a difference by any means possible to him, either monetary, time or personal sacrifice. A hero never brags, tells or gloats to friends and in the news. I am not among any of the above category, I was just annoyed that this girl talks her way through the day and that I am stuck to do her job so that I can get mine done. All I wanted was for her to come back to do her job so that I finish mine.

Then a friend pointed out to me that heroism is different in every individual’s perspective. To chase and catch a naughty cat for an old lady, may seem some fun act to me, but will be an act of heroism to that woman. When 4teen was younger, he considered me a hero, and 4t was just doing what she was supposed to do, being a parent. And as life changes, situations alter, therefore, the perspective adjusts and heroism takes a different sense at every phase.

And this gets me thinking (4teen believes that this is the root of my problems, too much thinking!) Batman and Spiderman were normal people, like all of us, who used their extraordinary powers, when they changed into their costumes, in the time of distress and need. So is it possible that all of us normal people are heroes in our own way and can perform acts of heroism? Granted we can’t fly, or we do not have super gadgets, but we do have courage and some capability to make a difference and be special to someone, can’t we?

The way I see it now, the actions make a hero not the person. To a hungry person, someone who feeds him is a hero. To a sick person, the doctor is a hero. To a desperate person, and encouraging stranger who can give sound advice can be a hero. A mentor is a hero and there is no end to the chain. And to this colleague, I was the hero.

I still have difficulty absorbing the fact that I was called a hero, because it is truly over-rated, but I do know that I after this, I can not stop being one, and I have to build on to perfection one step at a time. Now that I know that every action of mine, even out of annoyance, has a reaction, I know that I have the power to be a hero, and I promise to be one. My vanity wants me to choose a costume, but when I look at myself in the mirror, my better judgment tells me otherwise!

The title is taken from the lyrics of the song "I need a hero".

Peer pressure or not? What is the question?

4t denies, but peer pressure is a dominant motivating factor for both 4teen and 4t and many more years after that.

It was a rainy Tuesday around lunchtime and many people were waiting to be served in the area bank. There was only one slow teller working with slower systems and you can do the math in estimating the length of the line. Everyone was tired and grumbling and before I started to pull my hair out, the conversation from two ladies behind me perked me up and distracted me from the inefficiency of the bank and stopped me short to go to the bank manager to give her a piece of my mind. I am not a nosy person by nature (despite what many of you guys think), but I can be one if circumstances allow and I choose to, and this was an optimal situation for both.

The two women were in their early thirties and looked professionals. One of them was invited to a wedding of a friend the following weekend and did not want to take the current boyfriend with her as a date. The friend was coming up with different excuses that she could give the boyfriend for not taking him to the wedding without offending him: sickness, wedding cancellation, friends only gathering, were just a few of the ingenious options that the friend could come up with. The teller in the bank got stuck with a very difficult customer and the wait continued…

And that is how the story unfolded further. This girl meets this man in a company party about six months ago. The man (according to her description) is funny, intelligent, considerate, gentle, charming and has a very good position with a very renowned company in US. He has a nice house, a car and is well rounded. He treats her like a lady and takes her on cruises and trips. He cooks for her gourmet dinners, and he has even introduced her to his parents. He is discussing future plans and places to shop for a ring. Yet, the other truth is that he is very very heavy, or in another words obese. And the thing is that despite all the advantages to this guy, who seems to be quite a catch, there is only one disadvantage; she was ashamed to take this man as her date to this wedding, because she did not want her friends to think that she is a “loser”, as she quoted, for dating an obese guy. I have to confess that I always thought to hear this from a man and never a woman. Boy, how wrong was I!

After getting to this part, I was stuck with two options, either to yell at the bank manger, or yell on this thirty year old single girl, who was shallow, selfish and self centered. I wanted to ask her if she has checked herself in the mirror lately, because God knows she was not Cindy Crawford herself! What was she thinking? Since when did we stop sacrificing our happiness and our lives for what people say or thought? We teach, preach and promote avoidance of peer pressure to 4teen, but at the verge of becoming 4t, we have still not learned these ourselves, and we are still looking for what? People will always have something to say about us, and most of the time unkind words, and if we start to dance to that tune, we will never learn our own tune. And that is how we get depressed and lost.

The way I see it, obese people can go on diet, have surgery and do something about it. Weight problem is fixable. A flaw in the character and brain is something to be worried about, because like some terminal illness, even the best doctors can not cure it. It seems to me that this girl/woman should really be concerned for herself.

4teens were amazed that I did not give them some advice. What they do not know, because I did not tell them, is that I wanted to, but then it was my turn to get to the teller, and it was a choice between either the girls or another half hour wait in line, and I chose the latter. Not that I did not know what to say to them, on the contrary, I was afraid that I could not stop! I was truly appalled by this woman’s behavior, using this man shamelessly without feeling remorse or guilt. I was even more appalled by the friend, who agreed with her. Did I mention that they were in their thirties?

God knows

4t and 4teen both lie about their ages, one to give the impression of older and the other of younger.

I think I know what I am getting J. man for his 2nd birthday. I may get him one of the interesting toys that are on the market for the holiday season in December; it is a doll(appropriate for boys too!)and the makers are hoping that it will replace some stuffed teddy bears.

They are called Holy Talking Huggables, and Jesus, Mary, Moses and Queen Esther, each with their own recorded messages are a few of them. The doll was designed by a couple in Boston, MA who wanted to fill the need of love and morals for their own child all at once. They believed that this doll blended fun and faith simultaneously and was million times better than a toy gun. It is an interesting concept that a toy can in fact be packaged with messages from the old and New Testament.

And this toy made me wonder if it is only me, but recently I have noticed more people with head covering, yarmulke, long and loose fitting clothing and a lot of Cross necklaces all across town. Actors talk about Kabala and the 4ts and 4teens that hate to dress alike, both wear the red string around their wrist. The reality is that the trend of getting back to the religion has been going on for a long while now, but is it intensifying or is it my imagination? On Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, the houses of God are packed with worshippers, and I know for a fact, because I live close to a couple of them. I live in a very metropolitan area, and believe me that I do see a big variety of temples for any kind of religion with a name.

And I can’t help but wondering why is it that people are rediscovering faith? So why is the world changing?

My younger sister believes that for a long while, money had become God to so many people, and now it is taking its toll on them. People need reprieve from being a slave to the material things; therefore, their soul is seeking God for some moral and spiritual guidance.

My hubby chubby thinks that the big baby boomer generation, that is supposed to bankrupt the social security system, is getting old, and the older we get; we find our way back to religion, to explain our existence, repent for our wrongdoings, because we are afraid of death.

4teen trusts that since the world has really become a violent and crazy place, people need some explanation as why bad things are happening around the universe, and religion seems to be the one that can respond to those questions, or at least some of them.

And the way I see it, is that we are sticking harder to religion, our religion, because we are afraid of assimilation. Our religion has always been a source of identity for us, even if we were just born into it. Now that all the religions have started taking various stands for the same issue and in the name of same God, we are threatened by loosing this distinctiveness and amalgamation with others. And we are protesting it with the best way we know how, by becoming more zealous and practicing to preserve the heritage and the background of the faith that we were born into it.

Honestly, I don't know the real reason and I have just theories, but I am sure that God knows!

Have a little bit of faith in me

4t and 4teen both need their siblings. 4teen needs them to give them the “how-to’s” of the high school, and 4t needs them for moral support and encouragement.

We all receive some inspirational emails every week. We read through them, they lift our souls and bring smiles to our faces. We nod our head in agreement with an occasional tear drop, as we relate that reading to our lives. The minute we close the email, out of sight, out of mind, the effect disappears. Poof!

Then, there comes a time in our lives that we experience struggles, which bring a distant memory of those quotes to our minds. It is then that we identify and sympathize with those sayings and pledge to take them to heart and learn, practice and even preach them if we can find an audience. The real empathy comes, sometimes with age, when something really clicks in the heart that sets our inner drive in motion. That inner drive, or call it whatever you want, makes us take those words as a way of life and that is when we start living by those rules. The empathy stage has to come to everyone on a personal realization and timetable; for some sooner than later. Preaching and lecturing does not affect anything, but believe me, it will come in time.

And that is how exactly having faith found its permanent space in my life. Not that I did not have faith before. I did, but the switch could be on and off depending on my mood. This time my faith came with conviction and out of my inner strength. Some argue that having faith is for the weak and lazy, and for those who do not want to do anything or want to shift the responsibility to a higher authority. The way I see it, this argument does not stick for me any more.

I believe that my faith comes from a stronger character trait. I see having faith in people, life and me, as a source of inner strength rather than weakness. There is only so much I can do about any situation and more than that is beyond me, it requires wisdom to draw that line. Having faith requires a big heart to forgive, not to forget, and to restore faith. Not many people have the courage to change themselves to get to that point. And ultimately having faith requires a ton of patience and kindness and the hectic lives of 21st century can be an obstacle. Balancing the two of them requires knowing one self and sacrifices, and not everyone, is able or willing to do that.

To close this serious subject, I have faith that everything will work itself out, I just try my very best and give it my best shot. Forgiveness and compassion are two best character traits, I try to have faith in people, if not for them then for my own sake. Ultimately, I firmly believe that there is retribution in life. Life is a funfair, we all stand in different positions in life at different times, and we all have ups and downs and demons to fight, the true test is how we come out of it, and how we use this experience afterwards.

My kind of sport!

No matter what each believes, 4t and 4teen is always dependant on each other. 4teen needs homework and problem solving advice from 4t, and 4t needs 4teen to fetch her stuff from places that she is not tall or slim enough to reach.

4t tries to watches her weight carefully, as she is a member of weight watchers (and no, they do not pay me to write this)! And that she is always on the look out for a new kind of exercise that is easy, fun and burns the most calories possible.

This past week, I found a very 21st century workout. Better than DDR, and it is not only an exercise for the body, but targets other aspects of life as well. The other good thing about this workout is that there is an actual contest for it and one can actually win a medal for competing. Since I am not Olympic material, this is as close as I can get to win any medal in any kind of sport in this life time!

“Cell Phone Throwing Contest” was held for the seventh consecutive year, on the third Saturday of last August in Finland and attracted a decent crowd from all over the world. The regulations are very simple. There are no rules related to the size, color, comfort ability, reception, brand and the weight of the cell phone or the contestant. In the past contest, the silver medal went to a free stylist who juggled cell phones to the tune of different ring tones (downloaded from God knows where), because his phone landed off side when he threw it, but the judges were impressed by the music and the act of juggling and awarded him the second place. The gold medalist was able to throw her mobile phone into the distance of 89 meters.

And this is how some people may view this contest/activity in my opinion:

The environmentalists love it, because, it is a way to recycle old mobile phones (as Europeans call it) before they become toxic waste.

The intellectuals and the learned find it interesting, because it does give a real meaning to mobile phone as it is thrown into the distance.

The creative people applaud the inventive mind and envy it, because they were not the first one to come up with such an idea.

Lazy people like it, because it is light exercise with minimal practice requirement and it genuinely qualifies as athletic.

Health Department advisors love it, because they believe that whatever moves one off the coach and into any kind of movement is an added step to healthy life style.

And finally, I love it, because no more talking anywhere but home or office and from land line. No more fighting over roaming charges or overage minutes. Can you imagine how good that feels when one frees herself from that fancy expensive piece of metal that rings all the time when I can not even shut it up (because I do not know how!)

Envision how liberating it is to get rid of this tiny singing colorful device when it damages my self esteem, because if I do not have my glasses on, I can not see who is calling through caller ID, because the numbers are so small. I sometimes can not even hear what people say, because it always ring when I am in a busy streets, restaurant or public places, and on occasions I have agreed to things that I should not have, because I have heard it wrong and was ashamed to make them repeat after ten times! This innovation which is one of the biggest industries in the world leaves me no peace. I try to leave it behind, but some how it finds it’s way back into my bag or pocket.

I bet I can be the gold medalist of 2007 and 89 meters is nothing next to the distance that I will achieve. For all the interested parties, on the third Saturday of next August, you know where to find me!!

If only I could throw my other bugging issues out and win a medal for that???

Picture taken from images on Google.com