I constantly overhear 4teen telling his friend, “and I asked her (4t) what did I do now that your are mad at me? And she said NOTHING, and she means it. Can you believe it and…..!”
Think about it, it is not always the things that people DO that make you mad, often times the things that they DO NOT DO, makes you even more furious. The truth is that at times I am mad at my 4teens for all the things that they do not do. For instance, not cleaning their room, helping around the house or not calling when being late. I get furious when they do not do their best or they fail to communicate important things (To my standard) to me. This rule applies to me personally as well, and here is why….
A few weeks ago at metro I was mad at myself for doing nothing. I still do not know what could I have done, but I am disappointed in me despite that. The 7am morning metro commute in DC area has it’s own crowd. For starters everyone is going to work. Almost all have their briefcases, daily news papers, occasional iPods and their comfortable shoes to walk up and down the steps as well as walking between the station and their cars, houses or buses. Those who don’t read nap, and they hardly ever talk to each other. The atmosphere is serious, yet I would like to believe civilized and professional. I have been offered a seat when the metro was very crowded, by gentlemen, who are still not as extinct as I thought.
On one of these normal mornings, an African American middle aged lady with three or four full tote bags entered the metro car. Her hair was not as coiffure and her clothes not as elegant as the rest of the people, yet a passenger none the less.
The car was very crowded and more people entered every station and apparently as she was walking toward the middle of the car, her tote bags accidentally hit another passenger’s foot and the man muttered an ugly curse at the woman. The woman angrily and sarcastically asked “Excuse me!” and the man repeated his ugly word. And the woman started yelling, cussing and screaming…..Not one person, including me opened his mouth. We pretended as if nothing is happening with our head bent looking at our feet.
And then I raised my head and looked around at all these people that were simply white and differently dressed, and it was then that I felt for that woman. I remembered in my other life, were I lived in my birth place, when I entered any where, I just prayed that no one will notice that I have a different religion until I am done with whatever I was supposed to do, and my religion was not even visible. I knew that for me being different meant different treatment. I know the feeling, because I have been that woman Yet that day, standing on the other side of the table, I did nothing to defend her, absolutely nothing.
The truth is that I can not shake the image out of my head. I can not but wonder if the man would have cursed at another woman in the same situation. Or why did no one offer her a seat, despite her age and baggage? Would they have done the same if the woman was different?
4 comments:
you're dipping your toe into something political. people are always going to discriminate based on race, class, or gender.
back to your comment about your teens, my mother used to say the same thing to me, "you didnt do anything. thats the problem."
I agree with james. People always find someone or something to dicriminate about. If it is not color, then it is height, weight, gender, ethnicity. I bet you do it yourself and do not even know it.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
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