Empty Nest

I don't know how and when it happened, but all of a sudden people are nicer to me and my hubby chubby and pat our backs and more often have kinder words for us. It was only last night that I figured out why and since then, I can't stop but chuckling!

The last of my 4teens left for college last week. He could not wait to see us leave and let him be with his new life away from home. He is writing all over face book, my space, twitter and many many more "Living a good life", as if his life has started after moving to the dorms. What does this say about his first 18 years of life? And who is paying for this life good life now? But I am deviating from the main subject. This is not about them, it is about me.

So these friends are feeling bad for us for having an empty nest. I am conflicted. Should I feel bad and should I be miserable? Am I normal for feeling kind of free that almost everyone has left, or am I considered to be a bad mother? Should I be ashamed for being happy to have a portion of my life back? However I look at this situation, I can not say that I am devastated. I am sorry, but can not.

The truth is that I do not miss the nights that I laid in bed wide awake until they get home and lock the door. I do not miss the moodiness and the nasty tempers. I do not miss wrecking my head for planning and shopping dinners that will satisfy everyone, and then when after a long day of work and slaving over a dinner that was not even to my liking, no one shows up, because they have other plans. I do not miss being treated like a moron in my house while they feed me all the words that I did put into their heads. I do not miss picking up after them in the family room, their room and their bathroom. I do not miss the chaos and the untidiness of my house and God knows I do not miss the million trips to the grocery store on every day of the week. I am happy to have my computer back, somehow with all of them having their own room and laptops, my computer was always occupied and the settings were all changed to their liking. I like listening to my music versus all the loud bangs of unknown rappers whose name starts with LIL.

With that being said, I do miss our heated discussions about issues of the world and humanity. We used to sit together and reslove the problems of the world from politics to social, religion and even entertaiment and hollywood life. I miss the gossip of the teenage life and the trends and the way of thoughts. I miss seeing how they grow up mentally and intellectually through their observation of life. I loved to hear their take of incidents that happen in their life and around the world in general. I miss seeing how life shapes their ideas and their choices and how sometimes I have no part in that. I miss hearing about their dreams and goals, and was excited to be involved in it. I love being as young as they are with no limit to any dream and all my life in front of me.

Hard to explain, but in the last year or so, while they were living here with us, they were not here. Our empty nest had happened a while ago and did not start when they physically left our house. Yes, I miss them, and No I don't want to hold them back. I need them in my life, but I am not going to demand it from them. They are doing what they are supposed to do, living their lives and write their own books and making their own choices. Maybe, one day they will decide that they want us in their life, until then, I will pursue my life to the best of my ability and pray that they always make the best choices and do the right thing.

The way I see it, I am proud of them for being such a confident individuals who can face the world on their own and they do not need us to hold their hands. However, they need us to pay for the good life style that they live! Whatever we could not drill into their head, this one we sure did. That no matter what, this house will always be their house and they are always welcome.