Killing two birds in one shot

I have learned that with age not only comes serenity, buts also some anxiety over various undefined feelings and you can call it whatever you want. However, the acute survival sense in me has also taught me to find organic ways to deal with the turbulent sensations of what ever life throws at me and that it is inevitable. And through those techniques I have learned far more than putting those butterflies in my stomach to sleep. Well more like a nap than sleep!

One of the ways that I have tried to keep my inner anxiety on leash is reading the psalms every once in a while. Of course some times more than other, but honestly, as I use to read the scripts, there are portions that really bring tears to my eyes and others that make my stomach churn. I believed that by reading the holy literature, I will only find words of kindness, wisdom, forgiveness and all the traits that I wish I had and most of the times don’t find it in my heart. And as I read through every psalm, I realize how King David was first a regular human being like me, and then a divine and holy royal figure. He has poured his heart and bared his soul over his dreams, disasters, inner turmoil and shortcomings in the verses. He even cursed and laments his enemies through his beautiful (??) verses.

I believe that if King David was alive in these days and times, he would have been a very successful country singer with a harp and not a guitar. And all of a sudden, I feel a whole lot better; King David’s royal pains are as genuine and identical to my common pains!
I realized that a person can be more than one thing in his life if the perspective is correct and his heart is in the right place. A singer and a king of a holy kingdom, and successful in both, how farfetched and conflicting is that? Second, I learned that that I am an original and independent thinker and that I see things unconventional and with a different shade and that I like that about me. If only I can find the different shade of what I think about my unregal pains and aches!