What About Paternal Instinct?

We women are suckers, and I am not kidding you. We bring many things on ourselves and blame it on our nurturing maternal instincts. Bologna.

The other day, three of us went to a local sandwich shop to pick up a preordered lunch order from a local deli. It was two colleagues, a man, Dave, and a woman, Gabs, and I. The order was packed in six shopping bags with two small trays of drink, and in my head I do the math that each one takes two bags and two of us a tray of drink and we will be good. So, I grab my two bags and a tray of drink and head toward the office without looking back. When I got to the last traffic light waiting for it to turn to green for pedestrians, I look back and I see Gabs carrying four bags and Dave just carrying a tray of drinks. At that very moment something snapped in me! I placed the tray of drinks that I was carrying on his tray and I said “it seems that you can carry this.” I was so mad that I could feel my blood pressure rising in my head.

Ok, the story gets better or worse depends on your perspective. When we get to the building and as we are waiting for the elevator, another colleague woman approaches and says, “Hey Dave, let me help you, it seems that you have a lot to carry!!” and she took the two trays away from him.

We got upstairs and arranged everything and I went straight to the other woman’s office and asked her angrily if she saw Gabs with four bags, and she said yes, and I asked her why did she help Dave and not Gabs? She thought for a while and said that she honestly did not know! Even she was surprised by her answer!

What is it with us? Why did Gabs take four bags and did not let Dave grab two? In this particular case I do know the answer; she was sucking up to Dave, because Dave is her boss!! Why did the other woman help Dave and not Gabs? I don’t know, even she does not know. And the million dollar question, why did Dave sat back and let all these women take care of things and why didn’t he man up to contribute at least a little bit? And it gets better, because at the end he took all the credit.

Honestly, the way I see it, it is our entire fault for the way that we pamper these men as mothers, wives, sisters and daughters. We find them a victim of I do not know why, and they accept it, because life is easier for them not that they find themselves victims. They can’t care less what we think as far as life is smooth and comfy.

I still get mad when I talk about this, but Dave can not come for help to me anymore, because every time he comes, my answer is a dumb smile and “I don’t know” or “I can’t.” He should be on someone else’s BRAT list, because God knows I have my own.